Naked Cowboy
by JoseJalapenoOnAStick
Summary: What will happen when Alice and Jasper have a little too much extra time and decide to make a tv game show?
1. Chapter 1

Preface

Edward lay down on the floor of his room. He strummed an air guitar while his stereo shot out an earsplitting song. He brushed his hair and began to hum the song. It was so loud it threatened to burst his eardrums, but he didn't care and neither did anybody else. Rosalie wasn't shouting, so he assumed she was fine with the wall rocking beats.

Edward had not seen his family for hours. Esme was out shopping, Rosalie had disappeared around five, Emmett was downstairs doing God knows what, and Alice and Jasper had been gone into the bedroom several hours ago. Edward didn't want to imagine what _they _were doing, but he couldn't help picking up a few stray thoughts.

The booming song ended and Edward put on a different one. He lay down and tried to get comfortable when Emmett's laughter barged into his eardrums.

"Ah! Emmett, what in the world are you laughing about?" Edward screamed as he stood up and looked around.

Emmett's insane laughter boomed again and Edward sighed, he guessed he should get back into civilization. World War III could have broken out and he wouldn't have noticed. He flew out the door and slid down the hand rail to where Emmett was doubled over laughing on the couch.

"EMMETT!" Edward screamed, "What in the world is so funny that you have to ruin my guitar solo?"

Emmett tried to straighten up but ended up on the floor. He pointed over his head to where a lone door stood.

_Them! _Emmett thought desperately through his fit of giggles.

Edward walked over and stood next to the door. Suddenly he heard the swooshing of fabric and he looked up toward the site of the sound. Carlisle was standing on the top of the stairs, looking so mad he could have frightened of any of the Volturi.

"Jasper, what are you doing in there?!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter .1 of Carnivals and Torture Chambers

Carlisle slid down the rail and rammed to a sudden stop in front of the door. He knocked and shouted, "What are you two doing in there? You just made me paint a stray line on the Mona Lisa." Carlisle had gotten so completely out of his mind with boredom that he was making his own version of the famous Da Vince painting, which involved a smile, blonde hair, and a set of plastic vampire teeth.

"Jasper, get him ready, pull the curtain, hide the hole, for goodness sake hurry up!" Alice's soprano voice ran shrilly from the other side of the door.

Edward tried to make out what Alice could have meant by any of that gibberish. He tried to read her mind but turned out with a very dirty image of Jasper riding a pony, naked. Jasper's mind was full of a recent episode of Desperate Housewives that he had watched late last night with a very distressed looking Rosalie.

"Carlisle, please knock down that door. If I have to hear one more thought about naked Jasper or Bree and Gabby fighting over a random awful actor, I think I'm going to puke," Edward gasped as he tried to block out Alice's shouting of 'Ride them, Cowboy'.

Carlisle grabbed the doorknob again and shouted, "Alice!" at the top of his voice.

Alice opened the door a fraction and peeked through. Her hair fell across the small crack in the door so they couldn't see what was inside.

"Yes?" she asked.

"You- dead" Edward amended.

"Oh, harsh words brother," Emmett said as he joined Carlisle and Edward by the door.

"Now," Carlisle said, "let us in, if you're naked Jasper, get some decent attire on."

Jasper flashed to the door, thankfully fully dressed.

"I'm not naked, why in the world would I be naked?" Jasper asked as he stared at Carlisle with pure disgust in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter, let us in, you've been in here all day and I hope you've been doing something productive."

"It isn't my fault if you have a dirty mind," Jasper sighed and he looked down at his wife who opened the door another fraction.

Alice nodded, laughed, and sprang foreword. She jumped onto Edward's back and put her small hands over his eyes. Edward tried to throw her off but ended up falling into the door with a loud thud. Jasper jumped too and tackled Carlisle and Emmett. The weight of both Jasper and Carlisle wouldn't have usually gotten him off his feet but moments before, Jasper had hit him with a surge of confusion.

Emmett cussed loudly and tried to throw Jasper off. Jasper was experienced though and he grabbed Carlisle, shielded his eyes, then took Emmett and jumped upon his back, leaving a very dumbfounded Alice look at him with longing in her eyes.

"Wow, I didn't think you would able to do that," Alice confessed, "I saw you getting beaten to a pulp by Emmett while Carlisle stood over you laughing."

"Why would I laugh at that?" Carlisle asked as he tried to struggle away from Jasper, with no success.

"Umm, well I'm not completely sure, but then again you don't know what's about to happen to you" Alice said, and with that she kneed Edward in the side to command him to move.

"I am not a horse, or your own personal Porsche." Edward said through his teeth as he walked into the room.

Alice led Edward into the middle into the room and Jasper brought the fidgeting Carlisle and Emmett in too. Alice jumped off of Edward's back and gestured for Jasper to do the same.

The three hostages opened their eyes and looked around. They were in a bright yellow spotlight which shone across the floor. The room was completely renovated. The walls and floor where covered in a thick black fabric, and three massive curtains separated by several feet, hid half the room from view. The bright red curtains where labeled with the numbers one, two, and three. There where also flashing bright Vegas lights hanging over the top of them.

The vampires looked around with awe. Jasper and Alice were in awe that they hadn't sucked all the power out of the local power plant, causing a total black out. They were happy about that, just imagine, a surprise with no Vegas lights- that was Alice's definition of no surprise at all.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Edward looked out with a different type of awe. Their mouths hung open with a slight 'o' shape and they were practically begging that they could look behind the mysteries curtains. Emmett took a step foreword and grinned, this place was like a carnival, he loved carnivals, or _had_ loved carnivals, he wasn't allowed to go to them ever since he had gone on the _tilt a whirl_ one too many times. That ended with a boom, a yell, a punch, a childish Emmett, and a signed note, kicking the Cullen's out of the carnival forever.

"Here," Alice said, and she pointed toward the curtains, "is our game show. One guess to what it's called Edward?" she looked at Edward quickly and gave him a surprised look.

"Naked Cowboy, very creative Alice" Edward sighed and looked down at his feet in humiliation.

"Yes, well that is the title and the game begins now!" Alice snapped her fingers and a small hand-held video camera to her left turned red to indicate it was recording. She looked into the video camera and said in a surprisingly, series voice, "Welcome ladies and gentleman, and this covers, vampires, werewolves, and zombies, just not wizards, _they_ are not in this segment, sorry folks.

"This is the new, hit TV show, Naked Cowboy, where we expose extra-human freaks to their dooms!" she turned and looked at the three contestants, a smile spreading from ear to ear. "We ask them a yes or no question, if they answer the question wrong; we push them onto a mechanical bull and let them fly through one of the curtains behind me." Suddenly three mechanical bulls rose from the floor boards and started to vibrate.

"If they answered truthfully, then they will be able to sit out in the winner's corner."

A strange light shot out of a corner in the room, alighting a small row of scholar's desks, with a paper hat, reading the words, 'know it all' on it.

"Now, let us begin!" Alice said and she pulled Emmett forward who discovered that the room no longer looked like a carnival, but a horrible, old-fashioned, torture chamber.

Author Note- Thank you for reading, please review, flamers are okay people, I have a high self esteem, Thank you all, adios!


	3. The Great Debate

Chapter 2 The Great Debate

Alice grabbed Emmett by the hand and forced him foreword. Emmett laughed hysterically and followed his sister. Emmett was led to the middle of the room where he lounged lazily, hanging onto Jasper like a parasite, like he owned the place.

Alice stepped onto the raised set of scholar's desks and sat laid down across two of them. Jasper followed her and sat down in on of the desks she was laying across. Alice looked at Emmett like she was superior and picked up a small piece of paper off the desk.

"Emmett Cullen?" she asked.

"Yes, all knowing vampire loving-"

"Emmett! Are you ready for your question?"

"Yes, all superior, Alice Cullen."

"Fine," Alice said and she sat up on the desk so she was sitting in front of Jasper. "Is it true that you, the most muscular and giant vampire ever, sings Athena Franklin in the shower?"

"N-n-no." Emmett stammered and he looked around at Edward and Carlisle for support in this hideous moment. Carlisle was humming to himself and Edward was looking at Alice with a look of –I should have known it- on his face.

"Well, let us consult with out inhuman lie detector machine over there." Alice, in a mock human impersonation, cupped her right hand around her eyes and waved with her left hand. "Edward, do we have a liar?"

"Um, Alice I think this one is a bit obvious, I believe we have a gay vampire on our hands." Edward laughed and looked over at Carlisle who was sitting on the floor, burying his face in his hands, shaking with silent laughter.

"Liar!" Alice yelled and she jumped down from her desk.

Emmett backed back and tripped over the closest mechanical bull. He cursed and looked at the advancing Alice and Jasper with a weird look on his face. Suddenly Jasper stopped advancing and looked perfectly calm.

Emmett then did the strangest thing; he slid like a penguin, under Alice's legs, and landed right in front of Jasper. "Oh, please Jasper, please forgive me!" Emmett went down on one knee and started crying all over Jasper. Jasper looked pleased with himself; he patted Emmett onto the back and started to laugh.

"Ah, Emmett, you are so shallow, you do know that, don't you?" Emmett rose up and started looking at Jasper like the world revolved around him, and everyone who didn't believe that should be put inside an asylum for not worshipping such a perfect person.

"I'm so sorry Jazzy." And he attempted to kiss Jasper's shoes.

"Ewww… okay way too far. Sorry Emmett."

Jasper stared at Alice as if to say that he was sorry, and to ask her if she got that on camera, ah now _that_ would make Rose happier then when she was killing her murdering, evil, fiancé.

"Camera," Alice sang, "Blackmail, all for _you_ my little Emmett, my little, little baby of a vampire-brother."

Alice looked down at Emmett who was now having a fit on the floor.

"Come on Jasper, don't be mean," '

"What?" Jasper asked and he looked carefully at Alice before finishing, "I was just getting him to think he was gay."

Alice sighed and gave Jasper an evil glare.

"Fine, fine," Jasper said and Emmett rose from pounding the floor with his fists.

"Why, you, you – "Emmett growled and he grabbed Jasper by the arm and tried to throw him into the ground.

"Enough Emmett." Alice hissed and she grabbed Emmett by the ear and dragged him onto the mechanical bull that he had tripped over. She than walked back up to the scholar tables and kicked a small red button, fit snugly into the floor. "Bye, bye!" She laughed and she waved.

The mechanical bull started to move and raced toward the middle curtain which quivered and shook. Emmett plummeted down the lane and burst through the curtains. Even the vampires could not see where it led for it was pitch dark and seemed never ending. Emmett screamed one harsh, jarring shriek and fell.

He landed with a crash onto something hard and uneven, and alive, very alive. The being twitched and groaned and sighed.

"Baby, would you please mind getting off of me? I can't breath."

"Oops, sorry Rose." Emmett laughed and he jumped up.

Rosalie got up too and brushed off her clothing. Rose looked terrible, exactly how you would imagine someone to look after they had been lying at the bottom of a dark pit for several hours. Emmett, being lazy, lay down and stretched out. Rose, following his example, plopped down right on top of her husband.

"Why are you here?" Emmett asked.

"Because I lied about what occurred last weekend."

"What happened last weekend?"

"Edward got kind of mad at me for selling his Volvo to Sarah Palling."

"You sold the Volvo to a bad politician?"

"Yeah, about that… well she did offer me a seat in office," Rose answered.

"And to think my wife could have been under a really old Nazi," Emmett laughed.

"What did you do?" Rose asked and she turned so she was looking at her husband.

"I lied about singing Athena Franklin in the shower."

"Why did you do that? I mean, every one knows you love her. Remember last week when her song came onto the radio and you broke the steering wheel you were so excited?" Rose questioned.

"No! I mean yes but come on, everyone knows her. She is the best singer in the world, and if singing her songs is a crime then I'm a criminal. Give me the death Penalty!" Emmett added and he looked as proud as a new father.

"Emmett," Rose sighed and she laughed, "no one even knows who Athena Franklin is, well, you do but honey, she's only written one good song and no offense but you should probably stop sending her fan mail. She is never going to write back.

Emmett looked angry, he turned to look at her and stared at her, his irises where black and he gave true meaning to, 'if looks could kill'. Emmett growled and Rose tried to soothe him.

"I'm sorry baby, you know she probably just has a lot of mail to answer, she _is _one of the best singers." Rose cooed.

Emmett was still close to exploding. He opens his mouth and yelled...

"If Athena Franklin is that bad then I'm the worst person in history. In twenty years, I will be in children's text books and on American's most Wanted-"

"Honey you _were_ on America's most Wanted, you robbed that bank, remember?"

"I will be on all the FBI's lists; I will be wanted in several counties for singing. It is not a crime to sing your heart out, and if it is, there goes my heart…R.E.S.P.E.C.T you don't know what it means to me."

"No Emmett, it is not a crime to sing, it is a crime to sing _badly_."

Author Note- no, I do not think Athena Franklin is the best singer in the world.( I didn't even know who she was until that song came on the radio.) That is up to the decision of you folks. In my poll, you can vote who your favorite band is. Vote, it's your duty! Adios!


	4. Rainbows and Vampire Teeth

Chapter 3 Rainbows and Vampire teeth

Alice giggled as Emmett's voice roared up from the abyss. She stood up and danced over to the middle curtain where Emmett's bull was waiting obediently. She stepped behind the curtain and peeked down.

"Emmett, shut up!" Alice hissed and she stepped down and grabbed the mechanical bull. She hoisted herself up, between its horns, and said "Giddy up," The bull sped to where Jasper and Edward where waiting. Carlisle was sitting down at one of the desks, looking quite pleased with the room.

"Jasper, I think you should keep your room like this, it's very nice," Carlisle complemented and he stood up on the desk and started to walk across it like a tight rope walker. He jumped down and Jasper agreed.

"Sorry Carlisle," Alice started, looking down at her feet, "But it your question next,"

Carlisle laughed and shook back his hair. "Sure," he said and he came over and sat down on the bull. Alice looked down at him from the bull's horns and said, "Okay then Carlisle, ready for your question?"

"Yes," Carlisle sighed and he looked over at his remaining son. Edward laughed and ran up to the scholar's desks. He sat down and placed the crude, paper hat atop his head.

"You know? This really fits me well."

"No, it fits _me,_" Alice said and she ran up the steps and plucked the hat right off his head. "No, wait," she said and she danced down the steps and put the hat upon Jasper's head. "That is perfect!"

"Okay then," Jasper said and he looked at Carlisle. "Ready."

"Even more then I was five minutes ago," he laughed and he joked and he looked, for the first time nervous.

"Good, now," Alice started and she, once again sat down at the desks. Edward gave her a funny look and sat down next to her. Jasper, feeling left out, sat down in between Alice's legs.

"Is it true that you, Carlisle, once owned a pink pony named rainbow?"

"No, no, it wasn't mine! It was Esme's she made me buy it!" Carlisle half-shouted.

"Edward true, or liar?" Alice asked and she looked over from the horns of the oversized cow.

"Surprisingly, truth." Edward said and he looked over at Carlisle in surprise. "But, Alice, how did you know that? I've never heard anything about a pink, fluffy, pony named rainbow, and I've been here longer."

"Oh, about that…" Carlisle said and his face looked somber. "I _did_ buy a pony for Esme, and, well there was an accident."

"What did happen to Rainbow?" Alice asked her face alight with wonder and surprise.

"Emmett, Emmett happened" Carlisle said as he looked down at his knees.

"What?" Edward looked confused.

"Emmett, thinking the pony was for him, the thick head, kind of ate it."

"Kind of ate it, how can you kind of eat something?" Well, he didn't eat all of it, he was still full of a grizzly that he had eaten when he was hunting with me and Jasper."

"Oh," was all Alice could say.

"Yeah, Esme was pretty mad, for some odd reason, she had had a thought on how cute it would be if I could ride a pink pony. Well, she made Emmett clean up the mess and Esme and I went shopping."

Carlisle looked a little happier, "She bought a huge jeep, Emmett's jeep, full of crafts and clothes." Carlisle then got up of the bull and plucked the hat off of Jaspers head. "Hey!" Jasper argued, but Carlisle was now bouncing around on the desks singing "I'm a know it all, I'm a know it all, look at me!"

Jasper laughed, and Edward gave him a grave look.

"I promise you, I 'm not doing it," Jasper said and Edward looked relieved.

Alice noticed how at ease Edward was and pouted, "Let's not be too happy Eddy, it's your turn up next."

Edward, looking desperate, let out a nervous laugh, "come on guys, be nice." But Carlisle, Jasper, and the surprisingly scary looking Alice, closed in on him.

"Now Edward, ready for your question?" Alice asked and she let out one, long, evil villain, laugh.


	5. Speed and Marijuana

Chapter 4 Speed and Marijuana

Edward gave a dramatic gasp. "Do your worst," he sneered and Alice laughed at his enthusiasm. Carlisle stopped dancing and looked at Jasper and Alice, waiting for the question.

"If you insist," Alice said and she took a pink, piece of paper and a yellowed photograph out of her pocket. She stared at it and looked at Jasper. "Jazz, how did you come up with this?"

Jasper looked up at his wife and smiled. "You just got to take the page out of the right book." Edward tried to grab the paper, he jumped and flipped and crawled under and around the desks to try to see the stupid thing. Alice and Jasper were having a silent discussion, too low for Edward to hear because they had kicked him the last time he had tried to crawl through the figures.

Carlisle could hear them it seemed because every so often he put an example or suggestion in. Carlisle's voice was louder and Edward could hear it but it was so confusing to understand.

"No, no, no, it wasn't like that, his name was Speed, he lived next door, he sold crack. We lived in a bad neighborhood. No, we did not sample his marijuana. He had a wife who was in jail, see, she got in the picture," Carlisle pointed to a small part in the picture.

"If she was in jail how could she have gotten in the picture?"

Carlisle pointed to something else on the picture; it was two little red and blue dots hovering in the air. "She broke out of jail; she was on the run for ages. Those are police cars,"

Edward laughed, he remembered the moment. The only thing he couldn't remember was why Alice and Jasper had a picture that Speed had taken of them. Then it hit like a ton of bricks. He moaned.

"Jazz don't tell me you found Carlisle's scrapbook."

Jasper didn't look, or feel ashamed. Confidence was spilling out of him and he laughed. Yeah he found it. Jasper smiled enthusiastically and pulled a large, leather-back book out of the scholar's desk.

"I found it when I was looking for Rosalie yesterday." Jasper chuckled and he opened the book. Aww, Edward, you where so cute, what happened?"

"Jasper, I was mugging a serial killer, how could I look cute?"

Jasper shrugged his shoulders and looked at Alice. "Edward, are you ready for your question or not?"

Edward nodded and looked over at Carlisle who was now looking at the scrapbook.

Alice smiled bitterly and yelled, "BELLA!" The second curtain swayed and Bella stepped out.

"Wait, wasn't that my curtain?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah," Alice answered.

"Then why did you put Bella behind it?"

"Because I knew that you would tell the truth," Alice reassured him.

"What if I lied though?"

"Then you would have run into Bella, scared her to death, and would have given her the defibulator."

"Fair, go ahead with the question Alice," Carlisle chuckled. Edward gasped.

"Okay, is it true that you Edward Cullen," Alice held up the faded photograph. "Were mugged by a girl scout after you mugged a serial killer?"

Edward looked uncomfortable and pulled at the neck of his sweater. "Yeah," he mumbled.

Bella laughed and tried to run over to her husband. Alice though jumped out in front of her and grabbed her. "Alice, let go of me now!" Bella screamed.

"Not so fast, we got something in store for your Edward." Alice reassured her. "It's nothing that bad!" But Bella still struggled against her.

Jasper came from behind Edward and started to pull him onto the mechanical bull.

Edward shoved and argued, "But I answered it right, I'm innocent!"


	6. Way too serious

Chapter 5 Way to serious

Edward could see that his defense was not working so he tried threatening. "Alice I swear." And Edward screamed like a school girl. Alice laughed and summoned Jasper forward. Jazz obliged and stood next to his wife. Carlisle looked surprised but sat back and enjoyed the show.

"Jasper! I swear if you touch me, you will be completely to blame for the destruction of Emmett's jeep."

"You'd black mail me?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to see that." Jasper smiled.

Suddenly Emmett got the picture. "Edward, if you hurt Mr. Jeep then you will have an appointment with a coffin."

"Been there done that." Edward sighed.

Jasper looked down at his wife who was shaking her head disdainfully. Jasper took her hand. "Don't worry I'll get him." And with that Jasper sprang forward and knocked Edward back into the third curtain. Edward gave out another pathetic girly scream and fell.

"See I told you I would," Jasper said proudly and he retook his wife's hand.

"I'm sorry you had to go through with this." Alice said.

Carlisle looked confused. "Wait, am I missing something?"

Jasper looked at Carlisle with a hostile gleam in his eyes. Alice noticed it and stepped back. Her face was full of disturbance and she hissed.

"Jazz, stop it, you said that that lunatic wouldn't make you go crazy." And Alice took a small step foreword. Jasper gave her a chaotic stare and he smiled. He gave a throaty laugh and tried to take back her hand.

"One bad day can make you crazy dear." Jasper said as the smile stretched from ear to ear. Alice stepped further back and tried to grab something to throw at him. Carlisle looked nervous and jumped off the desk.

"Honey, Jazz? Are you feeling alright?" Alice asked.

Carlisle sped over to Alice and yelled at Jasper, "Jasper! Snap out of that this instant. If you don't stop right not, we will…" Carlisle grabbed Alice's hand and they ran over to the desks and seized one, lifting it above his head.

Jasper let out a squeal of laughter. He arched his back and tried to find something in his pocket. "Harley! Where are my knives?"

"Jasper, who's Harley?" Alice asked and she stepped toward her husband who was not having a fit on the floor.

"Wait, Alice. He's having some kind of problem, what did you hide down that hole?"

Jasper flew across the room screaming "You can call me, the Joker! As you can see, I'm a lot happier." Jasper looked completely crazy as he stared at Carlisle like he was remembering something long past.

"You look nervous."

Carlisle stood in front of Alice. "No, I'm not, you are just having a bit of a problem." Carlisle looked down at Alice and begged her to answer his question.

"Carlisle, we kind of kidnapped the Joker from Gotham."

"Gotham City. Always puts a smile on my face." Jasper shrieked and he continued looking for his knives. He looked over his shoulder. "Oh, there you are Harley. Where were you?"

"Alice, how did you get to Gotham?" Carlisle asked.

"Well it was really easy, we followed the bat mobile. Well, actually, no we didn't. We looked into a map of the world and there it was. It's lies right between New York and Chicago. Anyways, we thought it would be fun, because Edward is always too serious. Jasper said he wouldn't let the emotions control him!"

Carlisle shook his head. "Alice that was very irresponsible of you."

Suddenly Edward's scream broke the sound barrier. "Get away from me Joker! AHHHH!"

Jasper looked like he was being framed. He went over to the curtains and shouted, "That's the clown that was stealing my act! Stop you idiot!" Jasper then stepped foreword and slid across the room on his knees.

"My balloons. Those are my balloons. Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun." And Jasper flung around, expecting an invisible Bob the henchman to hand him a gun.

Alice was getting sick and tired of his hallucinations. She had stopped laughing at him and rolled up her sleeves. She stepped up to him, grabbed his ear, and slapped him across the face. Jasper shook his head like a wet dog and looked up at Alice pitifully.

"Joker!" He yelled and he looked at his wife sadly. "Sorry, Alice, I just kind of lost control."

"That's okay Jazz." And Alice ran over to the curtain. "Edward are you okay?"

Edward looked up from the dark hole. His face was covered in white paint. But he had a red Glasgow smile coming up the sides of his face and he had black circles under his eyes. The joker was standing proudly muttering "I'm no Picasso."

"Alice, you have got to meet this guy, he's amazing!" Edward yelled and Alice shut the curtains.

"Sorry, but I got better people to play dress up with." Alice yelled back and she ran and fell into Jasper's waiting arms.

"Jasper, Carlisle, how are you too holding up?" Alice asked.

"Eh, same old same old." Carlisle said and he shook his head. "Jasper you better not do that to me, ever again."

"Jezz, haven't you ever heard of the healing powers of laughter? Oww! Alice stop, I'll behave, I'm okay." Alice stopped hitting him and Jasper looked sheepishly at his wife.

"You better not" Alice sighed and she sat down on the mechanical bull.

Author Note- I hope you all liked it. Sorry, if you were unfamiliar with the Joker. Just watch the Dark Knight and brush up on your Batman. I love the Joker so I thought that it would be the funniest thing to put them and Edward in there because Edward is waaaayy to serious. Harley was the Joker's girlfriend just so you know. All the things that Jasper said are quotes from the Joker. Cherish it. And in the eyes of the Joker, "If you gotta go, go with a smile!" 


	7. It's a big world out there

Chapter 6 It's a big world out there

Alice was saddened. All their available freaks of nature were gone. How did they use up their dwindling supply so fast?

Emmett was making out with Rose like usual. But this was the first time they had done it on a TV show. They smiled to themselves, there were only several places around the world left where they hadn't made out, and the top of the list was on a giraffe and in an Olympic pool during the Olympics synchronizing swimming.

Edward was trying on purple suits on the second floor with the Joker. The Joker was laughing hysterically, he was looking into the mirror, redoing his hair, and starring as a complete copy of himself walked out of the closet where Edward was getting dressed. Edward smiled and fastened his tie. "Let's hit Gotham!" he shouted and he scooped the Joker up in his hands and ran out to his Volvo.

Esme was in an Indian Burial ground. That had been a big, no, a very huge misunderstanding. Esme had said something that had sounded a lot like Indian Burial ground, it was probably sushi, Alice thought. Esme sighed and kicked a cat whose nametag said 'Churchill'.

And miles away Batman was depressed. He hadn't beaten the Joker in several days. That must be a new record. He picked the scarecrow up and punched him in the stomach, great all he had to deal with where these goons.

Just when all hope was lost, Alice remembered one last thing. Those where the last inhuman people in Forks, not the world. She opened her mind to the possibilities, La Push was close by. She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and jotted down all the monsters she knew. She started with werewolves and Volturi until she broadened her mind even more. She saw the world past the strange and weird and into the wonderful city of Gotham.

Werewolves

Sam

Jacob

Seth

Leah

Quill

Embry

Volturi

Aro

Cauis

Marcus

Jane

Alec

Demetri

Felix

Gotham

Batman

Robin

The Scarecrow

The Penguin

Killer Croc

Poison Ivy

Mr. Freeze

Alice grabbed Jasper and Carlisle's hands in her mad dash to her Porsche. She started driving and didn't slow down until she hit the freeway.

Author's note- the end is here. Well I guess no totally here, if you loved this story enough that you want a sequel, go to my poll, and vote who I should have Naked Cowboy feature next: Gotham city, The Volturi, or The Werewolves? Vote now, I'm expecting great expectations from you!


	8. Important words!

_IMPORTANT!_

Okay, here's my last chapter of this story, an author's note. I was just writing this to inform you all that I may be writing a sequal. I haven't got a clue who you all want because barely any one voted. 3 people actually.

So if you think I should write a second half please tell me how in a form of a review! So vote now if you want more madness with the: Voturi, or werewolf (I'm rethinking Gotham)

Please read and review my other stories!!!

You are all so nice!!!!~~~~~!!!!!!!~~~~~!!!!!~~~~!!!

Oh, and vote on my new pole!!!

~TwilightAlice102


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